The beginning of a new calendar year is an occasion that makes many of us review and rethink our lives. We look back on the past year, comparing it to our goals and expectations. Did we do what we intended to? Have we improved ourselves in the ways we set out to? Were we able to check off items on our annual to-do list?
Overwhelmingly, the answer to those questions is no.
I’m sure there are some folks out there who routinely live up to their own expectations for the year, but I don’t know many of them. Most of us aim high and fall short.
Over the course of my life, I don’t know how many New Year’s resolutions I’ve set and missed. I know that I’ve learned, though, because over the years, I’ve set my sights increasingly lower.
In my twenties, my annual resolutions looked something like this:
Lose 35 pounds
Go to the gym five times a week
Eat eight servings of fruits and vegetables per day
Put $100 per week into a savings account
Clean the entire house, top to bottom, once a week
In my thirties, I’d scaled back a little:
Lose 20 pounds
Go to the gym four times a week
Eat four servings of fruits and vegetables per day
Put $50 per week into a savings account
Clean half the house, top to bottom, each week. Alternate halves.
In my forties, I really dialed it back:
Lose a few pounds
Walk more than once a week
Eat one fruit or vegetable most days
Put a few bucks into a savings account when I can
Clean one room, top to bottom, each month
So, surely, I was successful by then, having lowered the bar so far that a cat couldn’t limbo under it, right?
Wrong.
What does that mean? I’m a failure? I have no self-discipline? I’m not good at follow through?
Well, maybe.
Or maybe…
Hear me out, here. This is crazy, but…
Is possible that resolutions are STUPID?
Before you dismiss the idea, let me make my case.
Failed resolutions make you feel like a failure. Since we know that most resolutions don’t get achieved, why do we set ourselves up to fail?
Life is uncertain. You have no idea what the coming year will throw at you. Could be good stuff, could be bad stuff. Either way, you’ll most likely have other things to focus on, and your resolutions will get lost in the shuffle. You may end up with a good excuse for missing your resolutions, but you’ll probably still feel like you failed.
Resolutions, in and of themselves, aren’t enough to truly make the changes you’re seeking a reality. If determination were enough, we’d all be thin, strong and rich by the end of January. Resolutions are empty promises to ourselves.
The new year is an arbitrary time to make resolutions anyway. It’s no more valid than your birthday, or the 4th of July, or any other day of the year. Making multiple resolutions on New Year’s is putting all your eggs in one basket. Wouldn’t it be better to spread your resolutions out over the year, so that you can focus on one at a time?
Have I convinced you? I’ll bet not, and for a good reason: we all have room for growth. And that’s what resolutions are all about, right? Deciding on a growth path for the coming year.
So, I guess that means my New Year’s resolution for this year is: don’t make resolutions.
Goals are another story, but maybe without timelines. Why put that kind of pressure on myself? I’ll get to them when I get to them.
I already know one goal that’s on my list: add one new state to the list of places I’ve stayed in my RV. Hopefully I’ll get that one accomplished this year, but if life gets ugly and I can’t get to it for a while, I’ll get to it later.
There’s an old saying: “To improve accuracy, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target”. I guess that’s the spirit of my new plan. I’ll shoot out a loosely-defined goal, and then whenever I achieve that goal, I’ll call that the target date.
Life is fluid. Resolutions aren’t. This year, I will be more fluid in setting and achieving my goals.
LOL. That sounded like a resolution, didn’t it??
Kimba
About the Author
Kimberlee Martin is a free-lance writer with a background in software development. In addition to the miscellaneous musings she posts here, she writes a technical blog on Microsoft Access and Excel at www.northportsolutionsllc.com.
Kim can be reached at kimba1228@gmail.com.
© Kimberlee Martin, 2023. All rights reserved.
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